A few years ago, I had a fleeting thought (of which I have many) that I would like to become a writer.  So, I went to the bookstore and bought If You Want To Write by Brenda Ueland.  It’s actually a great book.  I highly recommend it to anyone, not just to those who want to become a writer.  It’s got a sort of Joseph Campbell “Follow your bliss.” type of feel to it.

Well, it’s three years later and I still think about writing.  I suppose if you don’t feel like you have much to say, it’s hard to write a lot.  Mr. Bill Simmons has got me wanting to write.  It’s not so much what he writes about that I love (although I do love basketball), but it’s his style.  He writes in a conversational tone and references so many random connections.  It’s fun to read even if you’re not into sports.

I started writing a series of posts about how I turned my work/financial situation around not too long ago.  I think I’ll just post those in order.  That will inspire me to finish the last sections and then move on to something with a bit more substance.  I don’t really want to write about how my company Healthcare Connect is built on an amazing message queue and exchanges data in real time between your doctor’s office and you (on the Internet).  I don’t want to write about how I can make a Drupal website in about 15 minutes (okay… maybe not 15, but give me a couple of hours and I’ll have you set up with a domain, Google Apps, E-mail, a full website that includes a content management system, e-commerce, etc.).  Although those things could further my businesses and potentially make me money, I want to write about things that matter to humanity.  I want to share about things related to nutrition, education, and how to make the USA and the world a better place for everyone who lives here.  Yeah, I know that’s a very pageantry thing to say, but I mean it.  I love myself, I enjoy making software, and I want to create some sort of positive impact on the world.

Just in case anyone is reading, there’s more to come!

It’s been a long three months since I last wrote — here.  I started writing a book.  The book is about the only true thing I’m expert on — me!  I decided to write it because a) I wanted to tell the story of much I turned things around in just one year and b) lulu.com.  Publishing a book is so much easier these days.

A lot has happened since getting back from Paris.  I had a bit of jet lag upon returning, so I woke up at 5:00am.  I’ve kept that schedule ever since.  There’s been a ton more books in the mail, two newspapers on my doorstep every morning, and my dad and I have begun exchanging books.

I’m so incredibly happy about owning a company in New York City and working for myself.  I have two wonderful business partners who balance me out and I’ve already met so many lovely people in the course of doing business.  We’ve been fortunate enough to acquire business from previous contacts and through various social encounters.

The next four days are dedicated to work without leaving the office.  Then it’s to Houston, then Vegas, and then Kentucky.  Life.  Is.  So.  Great.  Also, I’m really looking forward to Christmas this year.

I took this picture…

He's Real

I’m halfway through an interesting book titled Straw Dogs.  I wouldn’t say that it’s all that provoking or ground breaking, as most of what it has to say is an assimilation of earlier thought, but it does at least stir up thought that I usually let lay dormant.  John Gray’s conclusion is that humans are no different than any other animal — we are merely straw dogs (a reference to Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching).

For most of my life, I have either avoided or chosen not to engage in debate over the nature of humans or religion.  For the last eleven or so years, it’s been my opinion that our thoughts on these subject matters are just that — opinions.  As a preface to what I feel like sharing below, I would like to reiterate that fact that my thoughts are merely opinions.  I would never ask someone else to subscribe to my thought, just as I would ask that people be mindful of the difference between a discussion and a prophecy.

While studying at the University of Texas, there were fleeting moments in which I considered a degree in logic and philosophy.  I was so deeply intrigued by the thought of figuring out just exactly how the world worked that a lifetime of study devoted to it seemed realistic.  Shortly thereafter, however, I arrived at a conclusion that lacked any real luster or “ah-ha!” feeling and left me far from interested in a philosophical course of study.  Just before I reached that conclusion, I often thought of writing a book and having my name mentioned with other great thinkers.  It would be accepted that I was never able to balance my checkbook due to the great thoughts I would have bestowed upon the world.

I wouldn’t have made much of a philosopher.  I could never write a rambling discourse on my thought nor do I care to berate the thoughts of others, which, it seems, is half of being a philosopher.

I’m of the opinion that we don’t know anything about anything.  What can we really be certain of?  Not much.  In my experience, I can only be certain that things come and go.  Everything passes away.  What I’ve come to realize is that very few people are able to accept this thought.  An entitled human being cannot fathom being reduced to such nothingness.  It’s completely understandable, however, because we’ve been ingrained with the idea that everything has a specific purpose and that we humans are a unique species that is superior to all that ever was and will be.  Accepted unknowing is hard to swallow.

While walking and passing over my own thoughts, it occurred to me that so much of the history of thought is an accusation on thought.  So much philosophy of an individual or movement stems from the environment in which it originated.  Hume in 2009 would not think as he did in 1750.  The same goes for Socrates.  And who am I to criticize Plato’s writing?  That would be like the CEO of Goodyear mocking the individual who first invented the wheel.  It stands to reason that much of our thought on human nature, the origin and destination of our species, and spirituality is just a bloated volume of thinkers who enjoy hearing themselves talk and reading their own print.

Whether you’re looking for enlightenment, eternal salvation, pure consciousness, or just happiness, these collective energies are moving in a similar stream.  Does it really need to be defined and reduced to words.  Are your words right?  Are mine wrong?  How can one be so sure of themselves?  I’m so amazed at the conviction in people and the unwillingness to entertain any alternative thought.

For now, I’m going to sit comfortably knowing nothing.  I’m also comfortable with you knowing everything.

It’s been an entire month since I last wrote.  It was my intention to write every day, but that’s not really happening. I write on paper sometimes, but I don’t think I’ll be scanning that in. I usually throw it away just after writing it any ways.  Other people eating lunch at Pret-a-Manger look at me like, “Did you just write for 45 minutes and then throw it in the garbage?!”  It’s therapeutic.

I’m not sure what this web log is here for. I have so many different things on my mind. I want to write about every single one of them. Although, I guess some are a bit too personal to broadcast on the web.  I’m so ready for a break from NY. I haven’t really left the city much since last November, except for snowboarding. I miss Austin, trees, grass, lakes, rivers, rocks, and open space.

I can feel my entire life shifting right now.  So many parts of my life are moving in different directions — all of them positive.  It feels really amazing.  New opportunities and new people are entering my realm that are full of possibilities and positive energy.  But what should feel like a perfect situation, sometimes feels a bit off.  It’s really reinforcing the fact that, with each new era or period, there must be a passing of the previous.

How long should we mourn the “death” of an era?  Some things seem to naturally whither and pass into the distance.  Others linger and twist at your gut for months and even years.  It seems like at each moment in my life, I’ve often had the thought, “This is it.  This is going to last forever.  This is how it’s gonna be.”  Each time though, things change.  Of course they do.  That’s how the world works.  “The only thing constant in life is change.”  I can’t remember which high school or college class I heard that in, but it always stuck with me.  But still, no matter how much you try to accept the fact that people, places, and things come and go, it still stings sometimes when you miss something that you can’t have back.

I’m being quite generic, because I don’t feel like really spilling the beans about what I’m actually talking about.

Accept this moment.

This too shall pass.

It is what it is.

Those are what help me get by sometimes.  What else is there besides the exact moment you’re in?

I’m going to a July 4th BBQ tomorrow, a Staten Island Yankees game on Sunday, Austin, TX at the end of July, and I’m buying a boat in the near future.  No, not a little fishing boat… a boat like this:

So long.